hotels part duex
after sharing a bedroom with Elvis I figured I might as well do my second best hotel story. this one is good enough that it inevitably comes up in casual conversation eventually, so I might as well get it out of the way too.
moving across the country to nyc is a formidable task. especially when you dont really have any contacts or family or anything here. the market for apartments here is crazy because there is so much turnover and everything is so expensive that it takes a significant amount of expertise, planning, and luck.
if you dont know anything you better do your homework or get lucky or else you are going to have problems. that is the situation we were in. we being me and my fellow adventurer g.
there are many reasons why it is a difficult process, but one of which is that if you don't live close and you don't know people here, you pretty much have to take a short trip out here a month before your move in date and hope that you can find something liketysplit. (liketysplit = fast)
it is exciting, just a few days will make a big difference in at least a year of your life.
so the point of this story is the hotel we stayed in during our 3 days of whirlwind apartment search.
g and I were still poor college students at the time, so we were looking to do this thing on the cheap. I did my internet hotel search for the long weekend and hit 'sort by price'. the cheapest hotel on the list was Hotel Carter at $89. Now you would expect lodging at this price to have a less than desirable location, but I was pleased to find that Hotel Carter was actually located smack in times square (AKA the center of the universe, as some would say).
so anyways, I am seriously digressing.
hotel carter is a times square hotel that rents rooms for $89, which seems way too low to be true. whats the catch? theres a big one.
HOTEL CARTER IS THE WORST HOTEL KNOWN TO (WO)MAN.
that is probably a slight exaggeration, but thats ok.
if you remember the movie Big with Tom Hanks, you will remember when he checked in a ridiculously crappy hotel. That is what hotel carter is like.
you walk into this lounge that looks and feels like a dilapitated mexican casino. neon lighting all around the walls, ornate carpeting, lots of old furniture that doesn't match. the front desk workers sit behind dirty bullet-proof glass and they operate with a hardened efficiency and curtness that makes it clear that they deal with a ridiculous amount of bs on a daily basis.
everything is extremely old. you walk into the hotel rooms and they are lit by hanging light bulbs where you pull the string. the shelving in the closet is cracked and sort of hanging there on the wall. you can tell that the sheets were washed, but they definitely do not look clean--too much smeared makeup and sweat and other things that you dont want to think about.
there is a tv but it is the old-school style that has the knob that you turn hard and it loudly clicks through the stations (there is reception on about 1.5 channels). no soap or shampoos or anything in the bathroom, and the fixtures in there are probably too old to be in an antique store.
the view is good though, if you like looking at the air conditioning units on top of the theatre next door.
yes, we are talking about 1 star lodging at its finest here, my friends. they even advertise 'heated rooms' on the billboard outside... what an awesome amenity.
I bet if I would have looked under the matress I would have found something scary, but I decided against that. (if you ever saw the movie 4 rooms, then you know what I mean, which is, by the way, the closest thing to pulp fiction of tarantino's other movies, in my opinion).
anyways, let just say that the room was bad enough that it makes you wonder if it was worth the price you paid.
next time you are in new york, I dare you to stay there.
moving across the country to nyc is a formidable task. especially when you dont really have any contacts or family or anything here. the market for apartments here is crazy because there is so much turnover and everything is so expensive that it takes a significant amount of expertise, planning, and luck.
if you dont know anything you better do your homework or get lucky or else you are going to have problems. that is the situation we were in. we being me and my fellow adventurer g.
there are many reasons why it is a difficult process, but one of which is that if you don't live close and you don't know people here, you pretty much have to take a short trip out here a month before your move in date and hope that you can find something liketysplit. (liketysplit = fast)
it is exciting, just a few days will make a big difference in at least a year of your life.
so the point of this story is the hotel we stayed in during our 3 days of whirlwind apartment search.
g and I were still poor college students at the time, so we were looking to do this thing on the cheap. I did my internet hotel search for the long weekend and hit 'sort by price'. the cheapest hotel on the list was Hotel Carter at $89. Now you would expect lodging at this price to have a less than desirable location, but I was pleased to find that Hotel Carter was actually located smack in times square (AKA the center of the universe, as some would say).
so anyways, I am seriously digressing.
hotel carter is a times square hotel that rents rooms for $89, which seems way too low to be true. whats the catch? theres a big one.
HOTEL CARTER IS THE WORST HOTEL KNOWN TO (WO)MAN.
that is probably a slight exaggeration, but thats ok.
if you remember the movie Big with Tom Hanks, you will remember when he checked in a ridiculously crappy hotel. That is what hotel carter is like.
you walk into this lounge that looks and feels like a dilapitated mexican casino. neon lighting all around the walls, ornate carpeting, lots of old furniture that doesn't match. the front desk workers sit behind dirty bullet-proof glass and they operate with a hardened efficiency and curtness that makes it clear that they deal with a ridiculous amount of bs on a daily basis.
everything is extremely old. you walk into the hotel rooms and they are lit by hanging light bulbs where you pull the string. the shelving in the closet is cracked and sort of hanging there on the wall. you can tell that the sheets were washed, but they definitely do not look clean--too much smeared makeup and sweat and other things that you dont want to think about.
there is a tv but it is the old-school style that has the knob that you turn hard and it loudly clicks through the stations (there is reception on about 1.5 channels). no soap or shampoos or anything in the bathroom, and the fixtures in there are probably too old to be in an antique store.
the view is good though, if you like looking at the air conditioning units on top of the theatre next door.
yes, we are talking about 1 star lodging at its finest here, my friends. they even advertise 'heated rooms' on the billboard outside... what an awesome amenity.
I bet if I would have looked under the matress I would have found something scary, but I decided against that. (if you ever saw the movie 4 rooms, then you know what I mean, which is, by the way, the closest thing to pulp fiction of tarantino's other movies, in my opinion).
anyways, let just say that the room was bad enough that it makes you wonder if it was worth the price you paid.
next time you are in new york, I dare you to stay there.
posted by JB at 9:19 AM
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